Ah, To Be 55 . . .

I wake to my 55th birthday at my daughter’s home. My granddaughter peaks around the corner where I sleep, “Happy birthday, Grandma.” A glorious way to wake to another year. 

After dropping my granddaughter at school, my daughter and I primp and head downtown to spend girl time laughing and sharing over my birthday breakfast. Sweet birthday niceties transpire over the course of the day. And to conclude my celebration, dinner - shared with friends of, all but one, more than 30 years. 

Fifty-five may seem like a ‘big’ number. And, maybe it is. I recall my youthful perspective of fifty-five to be that of grey and wrinkles, old - an indication time’s closing in. But today, I find I eagerly anticipate my 55th year. I am excited at the opportunities that lay ahead. And as I sit at a table with women I’ve known since my early 20s and listen to them laugh and reminisce and share hearts openly with one another, they give the preceding years and the ones to come the perception each one’s a gift.  

It is not easy to embrace the years that seem to be, to our minds, dark and painful. Glorying in memories we consider ‘good,’ lend to an illusion of success. But each experience works to build and shape and grow and develop who we are and what we value, hold dear. The years offer opportunities to imagine and to create. And through our fumblings and achievements character is developed, strength takes shape, patience and empathy form as we work to set respectful boundaries and healthy communication and conflict resolution skills that promote meaningful relationships. We learn to distinguish between an arrogant heart and a humble appreciation for who we are and our abilities. We develop compassion not only for others but, too, for ourselves.

At a party celebrating 55 years, age is, understandably, part of the conversation. And as we discuss turning back the clock's hands, not one of us concede our wrinkles or soft middles for the aesthetics of youth. When you’ve spent time in the refining fires, a seasoned perspective, tempered character, hard won peace and joy, confidence and contentment make the struggles and vanity of youth non-contenders. Welcome fifty-five.