“I do not feel too shiny these days,” I recently confide in a friend. For years, in various, unrelated social circles and professional settings, people addressed me as “Sunshine.”
But, after - two years testing for cancer (though all tests resulted negative, anxiety loomed), a major surgery followed, two days after my discharge from the hospital, by a surreal visit to the ER due to breathing issues, the concern of a blood clot and the possibility of another surgery or death, a slow and arduous recovery, severing a toxic, debilitating 3 year relationship, two (not-at-fault) auto accidents, death touching the lives of friends, defamation, betrayal, redefining relationship and healthy, appropriate boundaries and redirecting my professional life - I felt heavy, sad, tired, a cacophony of emotions that seemed to me to cloud over the light (joy) in my heart and mind. I walked past a colleague this week who addressed me, “Good morning Sunshine.” Stunned, I looked at him in disbelief at what I’d heard him say to me. A smile graced my lips and my heart felt light, hopeful. Oh, the power of a simple salutation that dissipates the clouds and allows light to shine through.
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AuthorAs a young adult, I believed there to be a point of arrival; a place where internal struggles with fear or anger or confusion give way to assurance and appropriate displays of passion and clarity of thought and direction. Where striving with relationships transform into understanding and acceptance and the propensity to self-protect shifts to trust and confident vulnerability. However, to my dismay, I was startled to learn, through a friend in her 80s, my perception was most definitely a misconception. Archives
November 2024
Categories - Personal Growth |