Lessons Learned

For reasons of love and with an intent to encourage, I am posting this list of lessons I’ve learned.

Through the years - through my own, as well as others, mistakes and successes, through the hard knocks and victories of life, I have come to learn a few things.

1.) Communication is vital - and unfortunately misinterpretation comes easily and breakdowns are difficult to resolve when offenses take up residence in the heart. So we, if at all possible, must press through to understanding and guard our own hearts from taking offense

2.) Relationships are far more fragile than we may suspect - therefore, we must be vigilant over our own character and work to truly care for those people God gifts into our lives and those, too, within our circle of influence

3.) We, as individuals, can only do our part - the other party is responsible for theirs. Accepting the truth that their heart’s attitude and actions are very much out of our control lends to a far more peaceful quality of living

4.) Conflict can have a positive aspect to it, if we allow, for it opens us up to growth and healing in areas we may not otherwise have given credence to or attended. It’s okay to be stirred and shaken now and again: we all experience this from time to time

5.) We must watch over our hearts - and NOT allow bitterness access for it will destroy our lives and adversely affect those we impact. Anger serves a purpose. For it denotes a needed change. But beware of pitching a tent and setting up camp. A self-righteous peak is a high place to fall from. Justice and mercy will not prevail from this vantage point

6.) People are filled with flaws, but this does not have to mean the end; we can grow, mend and connect intimately if all parties attempt an effort

7.) People struggle and at times, become ‘me’ focused (sometimes at the sacrifice of others). But their struggle is not necessarily a reflection of the recipient of their actions. We must remember and reflect that we are loved, that we are of great value and that we are of great importance - no matter whether or not people are capable of acknowledging and affirming this. And, extending encouragement of the same to others may help to heal the broken areas

8.) Communication is a learned ART and we each have our own learning style; some learn visually, some auditory and some kinesthetically. Having this knowledge can lend in helping to understand how it is easy to get crossed up with one another

9.) Everyone has their own experiences of joy and defeat, of brokenness and healing. Forgiveness is integral - we must extend forgiveness to others and to ourselves - our quality of life is dependent upon this vital act

10.) Communication is twofold consisting of listening as well as of speaking the mind. The two, listening and speaking, must remain in a committed, married state of unity if oneness is to be achieved. Many times we divorce one from the other and puzzle over the inevitable breakdown in relationship. Life is community, connection - life is about more than just “me”

11.) It’s okay if we do not always agree with one another and if we speak into one another's lives the things we don’t always want to hear. There may be truth to glean and garner that safe guard us along our journey, And if their perspective holds no weight, their motive at taking the risk to speak up just may

12.) People may not always understand us and we may not always understand them and at times we may have to draw respectful lines in order to maintain healthy relationships. But we can still care, we can still love

13.) Today is a new day, a fresh start with yet another opportunity to choose the direction we desire to journey. This is our gift

14.) In times of confusion and pain and chaos, when others and even we ourselves forget, repeat as often as necessary. “I am loved. I am valued. I am accepted. I am loved. I am valued. I am accepted.” With this mindset in tact, it is easier to see and appreciate the good we do possess and to more clearly face what we must contend with

Written from a heart of love
​Nannette Milette ©