Lil Eyes Spy . . .

I walked into my daughter's home this last summer and my 14 (now 15) year old granddaughter, Rissa-Roo, asked, as I walked through the door, “Are you going to be a model, grandma?” “Do you think I should be?” I giggled. “Yes,” She replied. “What made you think of this?” I asked. “I’ve just been thinking about it,” she said. “Who would I model for? Old people magazines?” I laughed. “Yes,” came her matter-of-fact response.
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Riss astounded me. Her perspective left me pondering. Does she not see the grey persistently working its way through the blonde my daughter puts in my hair or the lines lengthening their way across my face moisturizer does not faze? 

In quiet moments, Rissa’s words pressed my thoughts and I questioned myself. Am I really living the life I desire? Am I living my potential? Do I view life and its possibilities through a worn and tired and aged and wounded perspective or through the fresh and hopeful eyes of my granddaughter? Riss brought life back into my perspective, my attitude, my heart - and I am grateful. 

A healthy sense of self is hard fought and hard won. As a seasoned individual, it’s my responsibility to share words of wisdom with my babies, babies. And yet, my granddaughter is teaching me valuable life lessons. The brief, innocent and sweet exchange between me and my beautiful granddaughter inspired and set me on a nine month, so far, creative journey.

Though I am not convinced modeling is my gift, when I heard an ad on the radio for a 5 week modeling workshop, I signed up. As the oldest in the class of a barely out of high school group of young men and women, I garnered a few inquiries as to why I’m interested in modeling - as well as I received support, encouragement and . . . help. During the workshop, I learned to strut along the catwalk in sync with the music while sporting attitude and wearing stilettos. I received instructions, along with the younger women in the group, on how to apply layer upon layer upon layer upon layer of makeup for auditions and photo shoots (I’m a moisturizer and a little bit of blush kind of gal). And I successfully navigated my way through a mock audition followed by a critique involving the entire class. 

As a result of 5 weeks of hard work, I was presented an opportunity to model as a Bond girl at a New Years Eve party downtown Anchorage, though I was unaware Bond dated the grandmotherly types. The modeling agency asked I work a voiceover for a radio commercial promoting their business. In fear and trepidation and excitement I walked into the studio at the radio station, stepped out of my comfort zone to do a little acting and spoke like an info commercial into the largest microphone I’ve ever seen. The radio spot played on 4 local radio stations through the Christmas season. And when my granddaughter told me she’d heard me on the radio, I encouraged her that she is the one who motivated me to step out of fear, to take risks and to seize life’s glorious opportunities. 

I’ve started blogging. And though my pace is slow as I learn to adapt to the writer’s style of living, creating is a to do that’s been on my list for years. I’m working with an illustrator for a book I’ve written and I’ve lined up a publisher - woohoo. I am collecting material for video projects I am working on and I am learning about story boards and lighting and editing and how to capture my subjects. And gift of gifts I’ve been given a four month reprieve to write and create and redirect my professional life.
 
As I sit at my desk and write this morning, I look out a wall of windows that face to the East. My creative nest sits up on a hill and I look out over a sea of trees and watch as the sun makes its way over the mountains. My books and papers and pens, watercolors and pencils and sketch pads of various sizes are strewn around me. My sewing machine sits at the kitchen table and tulle and satin and threads and patterns are ready to be shaped into something fun for a video project. The cribbage board and bananagrams are on the table too to challenge company when they drop in for a visit. 

Words spoken over the hearts we’re entrusted with bear the potential to influence and empower or to crush and immobilize. I’m grateful lil eyes spy modeling potential in wrinkles and grey and motive older eyes to spy too. 

​Below is a photo from a modeling shoot and my 30 second radio spot. Bear in mind that for this photo I, as were each of my classmates who are 30 years younger than me, am wearing 7 layers, yes - 7, of foundation makeup. Then, an application of powder was applied on top of the foundation as well as blush was brushed onto my cheeks. I will spare you the regime my eyes went through. And, a bright light hovered over me to get this look. I wonder what models look like without all of their layers and the lighting? Probably just like me. 

I hope you enjoy and laugh and embrace the possibilities your lil eyes spy.